Colossians 3:19

Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

'HUSBANDS' -In contrast to the views of ancient and even modern society, marriage isn't. one-sided relationship.

'LOVE YOUR WIVES'. 'Present active imperative, "keep on loving"' (Robertson p. 506)

Points to Note:

1. What. tremendous amount of truth is found in that simple statement. Consider: (a) The love under consideration is an unselfish giving of oneself,. sacrificial love,. love that always places the best spiritual interest of the other person, ahead of your own interests (1 Corinthians 13:4). (b) In contrast, the world teaches men and women to first and foremost, love themselves.

2. God assists us in obeying His commands. In order to make the subjection offered by the wife. pleasant experience, God commands husbands to unselfishly love their wives.

3. Bruce notes, 'This is not simply. matter of affectionate feeling or sexual attraction; it involves his active and unceasing care for her well-being.' (p. 164)

4. This command is designed to prevent the husband's authority from becoming uncaring, harsh and over-bearing. Unfortunately, some religious husbands think that being. "tyrant" or. "dictator" is "spiritual". There is. "headship", there is. type of authority in the home that is sinful. Not all husbands that are "in charge" of their families are pleasing to God. For many pagan husbands "wore the pants" in the family, but did so in an ungodly manner.

Eadie notes, 'Though the husband is to govern, he must govern in kindness' (p. 253) (Ephesians 5:25).

Erdman comments, '(love) makes tyranny and unkindness, selfishness and cruelty, absolutely impossible. It removes from the submission expected of. wife all that is distasteful or difficult. Indeed it places. husband in. position of actual subjection, for he is compelled by love to obey every claim the wife may make for support, for sympathy, for protection, for happiness.... wife never need fear to obey. husband of whose love she is sure.' (pp. 103-104)

'AND BE NOT BITTER AGAINST THEM' -'Present middle imperative.."Stop being bitter" or "do not have the habit of being bitter".' (Robertson p. 506) 'don't let bitterness or resentment spoil your marriage.' (Phi) 'It denotes exasperation prompting to hasty severity.' (P.P. Comm. p. 156)

Points to Note:

1. This suggests that husbands face this particular temptation, i.e. to harbor resentment. This also suggests that no two people are ever 100% compatible. And the contention that 'if we have to work at it, then we aren't right for each other', is pure ignorance.

2. Carefully note that God is addressing these commands to people, many who married before they became Christians. God doesn't buy the argument that "too much water has passed under the bridge, or that too many unkind things have been said, to make marital happiness possible."

3. To fulfill this injunction, the Christian husband needs to be compassionate, forgiving, equally aware of his own short-comings, and his own need of forgiveness (Colossians 3:13).

4. He also needs to realize, what at times husbands forget, that his wife does have. soul, and that she also faces eternity (1 Peter 3:7).. need to help her make it to heaven too!