Ephesians 5:33

“Nevertheless do ye also severally love each one his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she fear her husband”

“Nevertheless”: “In practice what. have said amounts to this” (Phi). Even though the primary application is between Christ and the church, these truths still apply to the marriage relationship. This means that when God uses the marriage relationship to illustrate or help us understand something about another relationship (Romans 7:1), the illustration used is still valid and true for marriage. “Severally”: “Individually” (Mon). “No husband is exempt from this rule” (Erdman p. 124). “Even as himself”: “The giving of oneself to anybody is. recognition of the worth of the other self. For if. give myself up, it can only be because. value the other person so highly that. want to sacrifice myself for his or her self. Now to lose oneself that the other may find his or her self--that is the essence of the gospel of Christ” (Stott p. 236). “Fear”: “The wife be careful to respect” (TCNT). “Must see to it that she deeply respects her husband” (Tay). “Bruce notes that Sarah showed her husband reverence by calling him ‘my lord' (1 Peter 3:6), but she did not live in fear of him: her record was marked by laughter and pleasure rather than terror (Genesis 18:12; Genesis 21:6)” (Boles p. 320).

“We have seen that the love he has in mind for the husband sacrifices and serves with. view to enabling his wife to become what God intends her to be. So the ‘submission' and ‘respect' he asks of the wife express her response to his love and her desire that he too will become what God intends him to be in his leadership” (Stott p. 231). Or, in other words you encourage your husband to "lead" by allowing him to lead, by supporting his efforts, and by offering helpful suggestions with the proper attitude. Finally, Stott reminds us, “In marriage there is the pain of adjustment. as the old independent ‘I' gives way to the new interdependent ‘we'. There is also the pain of vulnerability as closeness to one another leads to self-exposure, self-exposure to mutual knowledge, and knowledge to the risk of rejection. So husbands and wives should not expect to discover harmony without conflict; they have to work at building. relationship of love, respect and truth” (Stott p. 236).