Matthew 22:39

Does Jesus want us to love ourself first or others?

PROBLEM: Jesus says in Matthew that we are to love our neighbor as ourselves. But, if we love ourselves first, before we love our neighbor, then this would be putting self before neighbor. Is Jesus teaching that we should be selfish?

SOLUTION: Loving others as we love ourselves can be understood in different ways, but in no way is Jesus implying that we should be selfish. The Bible condemns “lovers of themselves” (2 Timothy 3:2). It exhorts us not to consider only our own interests, but also the interest of others (Philippians 2:4). There are three ways to understand the phrase, “love others as yourself.”

Second, Jesus could have meant that we should love others as we ought to love ourselves, namely,properly. There is a legitimate self-respect or self-love. Ephesians tells us to care for our own bodies, “for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it” (5:28–29). There is nothing wrong with a legitimate self-care and self-respect. The Bible condemns someone for “thinking of himself more highly than he ought,” but urges him to think “soberly” (Romans 12:3). In this sense, Jesus may be saying love others as you ought to love yourselves.