Matthew 18:15

V. YOUR HUMILITY AND SENSITIVITY TO OTHERS IS MEASURED BY YOUR CONCERN ABOUT OTHERS-' SINS: DOES IT REALLY MATTER TO YOU IF A BROTHER IS LOST TO THE KINGDOM? (18:15-20)

A. MAKE A PERSONAL EFFORT TO GAIN HIM. (18:15)

Although some believe that Matthew is collecting together in this chapter paragraphs out of other incidents, the following considerations show that Jesus is presenting one very tightly connected discourse:

1.

From His discussion of an unforgiving mercilessness toward whatever in ourselves is the cause of others-' stumbling (Matthew 18:6-9), He moves to discuss the merciful seeking of a little one who wanders away (Matthew 18:10-14), and now He pauses to discuss a forgiving mercifulness toward a sinning brother whose stumbling must always excite our patient attempts to bring this little one back. (Matthew 18:15 ff) Now, He must instruct His disciples on how to act when they are not the cause, but the victim, or even the witnesses, of wrongs.

2.

Jesus knows that recovering the lost and straying and maintaining the unity of the Church is the most difficult, most demanding job in the Kingdom, so He judges His disciples-' greatness (Matthew 18:1), not by their ability to expose the inferiority of others, but by their demonstrated ability to restore and edify them! So, He is still discussing the criteria of true greatness.

3.

What follows is the practical application of the Good Shepherd Parable. There is a natural tendency, if thy brother sin against thee, to consider him as less worthy of our attention and care. But his offense is but proof that he is the one sheep that has gone astray, the very alarm that sends one who has a shepherd's heart out to find him. His sin causes him to be looked down upon (deposed, Matthew 18:10) as an inferior (one of these little ones Matthew 18:6; Matthew 18:10; Matthew 18:14) by the brother against whom he has sinned. Nevertheless, Jesus intends that even our temptations to despise someone should become the signal to recognize him as one of these little ones for whom Heaven shows the tenderest concern. Then, guided by our heavenly Father's example, encouraged by the angels-' humble ministry and stimulated by Jesus-' loving concern, and sharing His shepherd's heart, we hurry off in search of our brother.

4.

The original dispute out of which this discourse arises was one which could not help but be marked by a loss of fellowship among the Apostles, by sharp words and angry looks. Irritated, each Apostle no doubt felt that, in varying degrees, the others had sinned against him. They all need instruction on how to deal with offences that touch them personally. To this point they could all see how the Lord's stern warnings against offending others would apply to the others, since others had offended them, but now they must learn how to heal the broken fellowship by removing the offense in the other.

5.

The disciples must also learn how to forgive. They cannot even begin rightly to gain their brother unless they are moved by a generous spirit of forgiveness. Without the ability to forgive, no one can ever hope to be great, because greatness and forgiveness are intimately connected. Look at God's magnanimity to pardon our sins. (Matthew 18:23-35) It is the glory of the truly great to forgive. (Proverbs 19:11) But man's ambitions to be great leave him usually too busy with self-interested pursuits to care much about the deepest needs of those who sin.

6.

If the disciples have sensed the depth of God's wrath against those who cause others to stumble, they must now see that no hatred on their part can be harbored against those who have severely hurt them, Rather, love must send them to seek and save their lost brothers.

So, Jesus is not introducing new material, but developing ideas already expressed.

Matthew 18:15 And if thy brother sin against thee. If he is your brother, then he is bound to you by the closest ties of love and loyalty. (1 John 3:16; Galatians 6:10) Your brother, contextually, means your fellow Christian (Matthew 18:17), but must never be thought to exclude from your love and desire for reconciliation your fleshly kin. (Romans 12:18) In fact, how far would a merciful, reconciling spirit on our part help toward bringing our unconverted neighbors and kinfolk to long for the secret power that moves us, and desire to surrender themselves to our Lord too? (Cf. Matthew 5:44-48)

And if thy brother sin. Significant ancient manuscripts do not include the words against thee, but their loss to the text does not seriously affect Jesus-' meaning. Morgan (Matthew, 232) rightly sees that Our responsibility (for) our sinning brother is not created by the fact that he has wronged us, but by the fact that he has sinned and harmed himself, and, let us add, wronged God. The presence or absence of this phrase in Greek manuscripts makes no real difference, since a disciple's every sin dishonors his Lord and makes it difficult for his fellow Christians to live a constantly holy life. (Cf. 2 Samuel 12:14: You have given the enemies of the Lord occasion to blaspheme.; Romans 12:15; 1 Corinthians 12:26) Nor does against thee have to be in the text to enforce our personal, individual duty to be responsible for every other Christian. (See Ephesians 4:25; Hebrews 3:13; Hebrews 10:24 f; Hebrews 12:14 f; Romans 14:19) The Lord is concerned about our attitude toward sin as such, since, too often where someone else's sins do not wound us personally, we can live so easily, so loosely with them. This criminal tolerance of his sins that stands by in silence while he goes down for the third time, disclaiming all the while to be a self-appointed fault-finder, cannot be a true representation of the spirit of Jesus! (Cf. Ephesians 5:11; Galatians 6:1-3) There is no psychological virtue or social grace in refusing to find fault, since many cannot see their own faults. (Cf. Psalms 19:12; Jeremiah 17:9) Jesus wants to develop in us a love for taking care of others, a love that is superior to the sterile orthodoxy that is only concerned to save itself. (1 Thessalonians 5:11; Philippians 2:4)

If thy brother sin. go. The great Shepherd of the sheep (Hebrews 13:20; 1 Peter 5:4) commissions every single disciple to act at once. Whereas the Twelve had been motivated by wrong ambitions, Jesus redirects their ambition, lifting them up to the level of His own ministry to save the lost, and makes them truly great! (See notes on Matthew 9:36 to Matthew 10:6; John 4:35) How liberating is this order! When we are burdened down with the problem of frustration caused by sins, both our own and those of others, wondering what to do, Jesus shouts: Take the initiative!

1.

Earlier He had said, If your brother has something against you, take the initiative to restore fellowship with him. (Matthew 5:23 ff)

2.

Now He says, Although you are innocent, take the initiative anyway. The responsibility to correct the situation does not rest only on him but also on you. You, my peace-making disciple (Matthew 5:9) are in the business to bring about reconciliation, and no logic is good enough to shift onto him your responsibility for getting results.

In other words, when in doubt, attack! (Romans 12:21) Jesus releases us from the frustrating doubts of stalemates by furnishing practical steps to eliminate the barriers that separate one Christian from another and reunite them in a congregation that loves and cares for each of its members. The Master knew that many of us would be fearful and double-minded, wavering between mountains and molehills, real sins and imagined offenses, fearful that we blunder and fail to produce the desired result. His go puts holy boldness into us by giving us the confidence that what we do or say will bring lasting good to everyone concerned. His go gives us that decisiveness that moves out despite these difficult choices, because He has already decided for us what our course shall be.

If he is your brother, then you are a brother to him. Your brotherly spirit involves:

1.

Making it plain to him that you have no desire to make him suffer unnecessarily for his offense. (2 Corinthians 1:23 to 2 Corinthians 2:4)

2.

Showing your willingness to keep his fault private will do much to persuade him to confess and abandon it, making it as easy as possible to admit his fault and request reconciliation and forgiveness. (Proverbs 17:9)

3.

Your desire to know accurately the facts and the ground for his attack on you shows him your sense of fairness and that loyalty which seizes adversity as an opportunity to prove your moral obligation to him. (Proverbs 17:17)

4.

Humility (cf. 1 Timothy 5:1 f especially in private relations.)

At this point many are tempted to withdraw into their shell and hope to stop any quarrel by refusing to talk about it, especially with the offending party. Among worldlings that procedure might be the only way to handle wrongs, but what a miserable shortage of brotherly love it would be for Christians to take this route with their brethren! Overlooking affronts is indeed better than harboring resentments, but Jesus intends to show us a still more excellent way (1 Corinthians 12:31 to 1 Corinthians 13:13) He desires to unveil a method that will bypass this stoic indifference and eliminate grudging resentment, by inspiring us to intelligent, active concern for the offender's welfare.

If thy brother sin, go, show him his fault. There is in the commentaries a carefulness to note that only real sin is referred to here, i.e. only what can convincingly be shown to be such. It must be something that would endanger Christian fellowship, hence not merely some weakness or fault, not mere, trivial irritations, some personal slight or embarrassment, which would be better off simply ignored, swept aside, excused and forgotten. In fact, other Scriptures seem to suggest that there is a class of petty grievances which would be better resolved outside of the disciplinary measures stated in our text.

Proverbs 10:12 :

Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offences.

Proverbs 12:16 :

The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent man ignores an insult.

Proverbs 17:9 :

He who forgives (covers) an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter alienates a friend.

Proverbs 19:11 :

Good sense makes a man slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

1 Corinthians 13:5 (TEV)

Love does not keep a record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:7 affirms that love bears and endures them.

The very notion of Christian forbearance and tolerance implies the existence of minor irritations that strain good fellowship.

It should be pointed out, however, that ignoring an insult, forbearance and tolerance, in Scripture, are not antithetical to action as such. They are the contrary of violence and vengeance, not synonyms of inaction. Loving tolerance and patient forbearance do not ignore petty irritations in every sense, but rather choose wise courses of action to deal with them. The virtue of tolerance is not inaction, but refusal to strike back, harming the offender with self-defensive anger. Wisdom and self-mastery, backed up by these positive qualities, is able calmly to choose the intelligent approach, rather than let the situation degenerate through instinctive brute reactions. This is why Jesus, in wisdom, indicates the one right way to meet the difficulty.

Lives there a Christian or a local congregation that has not faced the dilemma of deciding whether they were being over-sensitive about a triviality or indifferent to a major problem? How trivial must a thing be to justify our calling it an excusable weakness, or how injurious must it get before we think of it as sin? And, the question cannot be decided simplistically by saying, Let the Bible define sin: whatever it calls sin is worth being concerned about. Everything else is a matter of opinion. Such over-simplifying merely ignores the fact that, while the Bible is final, definitive and authoritative, it covers far more complicated factors than are intended in the quoted suggestion above. The Bible is clear in furnishing long lists of sins. (Matthew 15:19; Mark 7:21-23; Romans 1:28-32; Romans 13:13; 1 Corinthians 5:10 f; 1 Corinthians 6:9-10; 2 Corinthians 12:20; Galatians 5:19-21; Ephesians 4:31; Ephesians 5:3-5; Colossians 3:5-9; 1 Timothy 1:9 f; 1 Timothy 6:4 f; 2 Timothy 3:2-9; Titus 3:3; 1 Peter 4:3; Revelation 21:8; Revelation 22:15 AND many more besides.) Sin is transgression of the law (1 John 3:4), true, but the Christian law is not merely a new code, but a question of attitudes, a government of the Spirit by the law of love. (Galatians 5:5 f) Any failure to love perfectly is sin. (See notes on Matthew 5:44-48.) So, the sins of commission are not the only cause for concern, but every instance where love has been omitted is sin. Again, would anyone dare fail to admit that the more subtle sins of the spirit are no less serious than overt acts of the flesh? What about self-satisfied cocksureness that is confident it has nothing more to learn? What about the imperturbable cool certainty of one's superiority over his fellows? Is blindness to one's own faults not culpable? Should we be irritated at others-' loving the limelight and delighting in the deference shown them as if it were their natural right? Is moral blindness which stresses ritual over ethics, the letter more than the spirit, the traditional custom over truth, somehow less blameworthy than stealing chickens or a sex scandal? The point is that some things appear on the surface to be but irritations, but in reality there may be root causes far more deadly and serious. It may be criminal negligence to overlook some things that seem trifles. because the wounds we feel which are caused by someone else's offense may be our only way of recognizing that they need help. Cannot their irritating ways be God's way of drawing our attention to the stress they are under, the pain they bear, the frustrations, the hopelessness, in order that we might mercifully minister to them in the way He will indicate? Thus, the Lord would have us show even greater concern for our offending brother AFTER he hurts us than before!

By what criteria do we decide to do something about what appears to us as sin? Jesus answers: Show him his fault. (élenxon autón) If the problem is as serious as you think, prove it.

Eléncho is a vigorous word with a wide range of classical meanings:

1. To shame someone, to despise; to reject, to nullify. 2. To convict someone of his crime, mistake or error; to unmask; reprove, criticize or accuse; confute, refute; make ridiculous; furnish proofs, demonstrate, prove; to beat or conquer; to inquire, investigate; put to the test; bring a charge against; decide a question. (Rocci, 598)

Even though many of these definitions flatly contradict the spirit of Christ, there is a core of meaning that is comprehended in them all, and is essential to do successfully what the verb denotes: to demand an explanation from someone for his actions by proving satisfactorily that he has actually done that of which he is accused. (See Arndt-Gingrich 248f and Thayer, 202f) If it is not the sort of thing that can be demonstrated to be sin either to the offender himself or to objective observers (Matthew 18:16), then, no matter how much pain his action has caused you, he cannot repent of that about which he has no conviction. (He could certainly regret the pain and seek to heal your hurt, but he has no basis for repentance if he has not objectively sinned.) Show him his fault, thus, requires objective proof of fault presented in the spirit of tender love. This may include a rebuke that has real character (Luke 17:3 f), because tenderness in treating him does not mean weakness and uncertainty. Readiness to forgive must always be present, but actual forgiveness cannot occur until the sinner arrives at the point of wanting to be forgiven. Nor can he actually wish to be forgiven until he admits his guilt and repudiates his action, for without repentance, forgiveness is impossible, and, if granted, absurd and immoral.

1.

Some of the worst outrages have occurred because of what someone has said, unaware of the meaning their words had for others. Therefore, if we give him the opportunity to learn what effect his expressions produced on us, not only would he be assisted in enlarging upon his original statements but would also see the need to be more careful and precise as he talks to others. To assume without proof from the person himself that he intended to produce the negative effect on our mind that he did, and then tear into him on this basis, is unjust.

2.

Sometimes the wrongness of a brother does not involve wicked acts, but impure or incorrect ideas. (Cf. Romans 16:17 f; 2 Timothy 3:5 ff; Revelation 2:14-16; Revelation 2:20) Again, private, painstaking presentation of the proper proof is perfect for promoting perception. It is not necessary to confute publicly mistaken concepts that were aired publicly, until every effort has been made privately to correct those who made them. (Cf. Acts 18:24-28; Acts 19:1-7) After this, of course, we must evaluate publicly doctrines proclaimed publicly. (1 Timothy 4:6; 1 Timothy 4:11; 1 Timothy 5:20; 1 Timothy 6:2-5; 2 Timothy 2:14; Titus 1:9; Titus 1:13; Titus 2:15) Confutation of those who contradict sound doctrine is proper. (Titus 1:9; 2 Timothy 2:25)

3.

Division or separation from a brother for anything less than disobedience to Christ is itself sinful. (Romans 16:17 f) Therefore, personality clashes and disagreeableness (agreeing to disagree) which violates Christian tolerance and unity of spirit are themselves sins, hence no excuse for disregarding the Lord's order to go show him his fault. Not even prayer can replace obedience to do this.

4.

Showing him his fault, when done properly, is proof of your love and loyalty to him; failure to do so, of hate. (Leviticus 19:17; Proverbs 24:23 b - Proverbs 24:26; Proverbs 25:12; Proverbs 28:23)

5.

Putting our accusation before him saves us from poisoning our lives by silent suffering and brooding. Stating it openly, courageously to the accused may reveal our complaint to be insignificant and trivial. We may not be able to prove it: it may be nothing after all but a case of over-sensitiveness on our part. At this point, since we have no case, because our brother is able to convince us, we may rejoice that he had not sinned after all. Our goal was not the barren triumph of winning a cause or getting satisfaction. Our own personal sense of injury or embarrassment was secondary. What really counted was losing the joy of fellowship with our brother.

So, Jesus-' premise, If thy brother sin, includes everything that erodes fellowship and may include what would seem to be petty grievances and trivial irritations as well as graver matters. In fact, lack of consideration for the offended can be evidence of deeper insensitivity elsewhere. This is not to make a mountain out of a molehill, but to begin treating a small problem in a manner consonant with its relative gravity. A small shovel is a proper tool for removing a molehill, while only dynamite can blast away a mountain. Drastic action is unnecessary to remove petty problems, but decidedly friendly reproof is in order to nip the problem in the bud. (Luke 17:3; Leviticus 19:17) The other's carelessness may be the tip of the iceberg. True discernment helps us to realize that our brother's visible actions are decided by causes further down inside him and it is these problems which may be the real sins we need to be dealing with.

Between you and him alone. God has warned that to share damaging information about another with those who are neither part of the problem nor of the solution creates more problems. (Study Leviticus 19:15-18!)

1.

To narrate it to others at this point is to involve people who would perhaps never have needed to know about his sin. (Study Ephesians 5:3 f, Ephesians 5:11 f.) To expose the offender before granting him the privilege of personally explaining his actions or of confession and repentance, is to convince others that he is not genuinely loved and is, rather, just a thing to be hated and exposed, rather than a brother to be gained. (Proverbs 10:12; 1 Peter 4:8)

2.

To relate his sin publicly would perhaps incite the hearers to feel menaced by him too. There is also the danger of undermining a long-standing friendship between him and those who hear about his sin. (Proverbs 16:28)

NOTE: Paul's rebuke of Peter at Antioch was never a private question but a public landslide involving a number of Christians. (Galatians 2:11-14)

3.

It unnecessarily exposes you to being thought of as a slanderer and a betrayer of secrets of everyone involved, especially by the one who offended you. (Proverbs 11:12 f; Proverbs 25:8-10) Our plainest, most objective tale of his offense, told to a third person, becomes, in that person's mind, an automatic exaggeration of the reality, merely because we are telling primarily the offense and he may be unaware of the other's virtues and certainly his motives. Then, when the truth later comes out, all who passed on the supposedly objective facts will be exposed as guilty of slanderous gossip.

4.

To fail to discuss the offense privately with the interested party means to rush into court with partial information and superficial, one-sided views, whereas the supposedly offending brother may be in the right and present valid objections and irrefutable arguments we never thought of. (Proverbs 25:8-10; Proverbs 18:13) So, to ask him in private for explanations is to do ourselves the favor of rightly understanding the situation before going off half-cocked, causing untold damage to ourselves, our brother and possibly others. It is true justice to look at a question from the point of view of everyone involved; any other approach is partial.

5.

The only possible justification Jesus gives for informing others about the situation is when asking them to join us as witnesses of our second effort to redeem our brother. (Matthew 18:16)

If he hear you, several results are yours:

1.

You have gained your brother. This is the fundamental purpose. Surprisingly, the motivation Jesus now places before His listeners is not merely or only the salvation of a man for his own sake, as noble a goal as this is. Rather, He pleads with His disciples to imagine the value to themselves involved in restoring a brother to righteousness. Morgan (Matthew, 232) feels this keenly:

When presently we have done with the shadows and mists of the little while, we shall understand in the light of the undying ages that if we have gained one man we shall be richer than if we have piled up all the wealth of the world and never won a human soul. What a blessed thing to gain a man, to possess him for oneself, for the fellowship of friends, for the enterprises of the Church, for the programme of high heaven.

2.

If he hear you, it will mean you used true words fitly spoken. (Proverbs 25:11 f. Proverbs 25:15) Your success in bringing this dangerous situation to a happy solution means you are growing toward that greatness Jesus longs to see mature in you! Your persuasiveness helped guide vital truth around any mental roadblocks he might have had.

3.

Your problem is settled, no one else has been hurt by it, and you are at peace.

4.

If he hear you, he will prove his conviction of sin by admitting it and sorrowfully begging your pardon. His repentance will be apparent as he seeks to make amends as far as possible (Luke 19:1-10) as well as in the fruits of a penitent life lived thereafter. (Luke 3:7-14) Unless he accepts repentance and restitution as the conditions of forgiveness, forgiveness is a morally spineless farce. However, Jesus offers no blanket guarantee he will not sin against you again. (See further notes at Matthew 18:21; cf. Luke 17:3-4)

Therefore ALL PROBLEMS based on a personal offense involving only two people are to be solved at the person-to-person level.

1.

If you are successful in recovering the brother at this level, the problem is solved.

2.

Only if you are not successful at this level are you then justified in involving other helpers.

It may well be that the definition of what is petty and what is major is only relative to this success or failure at the personal level. Any failure of love is serious, but may not be serious enough to justify bringing in others until the single disciple is no longer able to cope with it alone, i.e. he cannot get the offender to recognize, regret and repudiate his sin.

See Matthew 18:22-35 for Fact Questions.